THE DECISION YEAR (1994-1995)
Three
important things happened between 1994 and 1995 in Kigoma, my hometown. They
all made sense to me back then when I was just in fifth grade. I was a 13-year-old boy, ambitious, determined, dedicated, and a true believer of everything is
possible. Fast-forward 23 years later, everything I dreamed of and planned at
that moment connected today. This is the point when I agree with Steve Jobs
that, “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you
can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots
will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut,
destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has
made all the difference in my life.
The assassination of Melchior Ndadaye – October 1993
Melchior Ndadaye was the first democratically
elected President of Burundi. He was also the first Hutu to hold the office.
Unfortunately, he stayed in the office for about four months then assassinated
on October 21, 1993.
Ndadaye’s assassination brought genocide in
Burundi – a severe civil war between Hutu and Tutsi. There was a big influx of
refugees from Burundi in surrounding countries. The majority of refugees fled to
Tanzania. My hometown Kigoma, being closer to Burundi became the refugee-hosting community in Tanzania. There were thousands of refugees in Lake
Tanganyika soccer stadium and refugee camps were opened.
I was an altar boy at Catholic Cathedral church in
Kigoma. Our home is like 100 meters from the church. There were holy masses to
pray for peace in Burundi and those who are running to save their lives. I
helped to serve most of these masses. We saw and experience the impact of war.
You see some refugees lost their loved ones on the way, or died before leaving,
lost their properties, kids had to quit school and relocated to a completely new
area – not their choice obvious. It was really sad to watch what was going on
with those refugees.
Even though I was still very young – I clearly
understood what was going on. Personally, I felt privileged to live in a country
by that time no war or possibility of one. But my support was very small due to
age. Only offering prayers and serving on holy masses for peace were my main
contribution.
In any severe conflict like that, the international
community intervenes to provide support. United Nations and all agencies came to
Kigoma. The whole town was occupied by United Nations vehicles, staff, and
resources to support. UNHCR – The UN Refugee Agency had a big impact on refugees.
They created camps, organized medical supplies, food, security, and so forth in
collaboration with other organizations like WFP, FAO, UNICEF, Red Cross,
Caritas etc.
Thousands of people in Kigoma got employed and
others volunteered to help. It brought all people together – seeing your
neighbor in such serious trouble.
As months went on, the war in Burundi became serious.
More refugees arrived in Kigoma. In 1994, it was like the peak of the war and a higher influx of refugees in Kigoma. More support from various organizations
and peace process started in Burundi. Still, I can’t help much – the price of
being young felt hopeless.
It was at this moment, I made a career decision –
what I would like to do when I grew up. I don’t know whether was it was a childish mind or what. From what I recall, I was very serious about what I decided. I
promised myself that, “I will study degree program which has to with human
rights, laws, and protection of people. In addition to that, I will join working
with an international organization, United Nations or its agencies”.
Years later, when I was in college – University of
Dar es Salaam. I studied Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and Language
Studies. I took an opportunity to have an internship with UNHCR in Kigoma. It was
one of the best moments in my life – entering into the UN Agency office to work on
what I believed to serve people who suffered a lot from the effects of civil wars.
It was dream come true situation. Every day I wake up excited to go to learn
more and do my job well.
While doing my internship, I was privileged to
have a very supportive supervisor, Marjolijn. Marjolijn was originally from the
Netherlands, young woman, highly educated, very professional, and dedicated to
what she believed in. I remember one day I was having a wrap-up meeting and
asked me what I wanted to do after my studies. I explained to her why I wanted
to do an internship with UNHCR and in the future to work with them. But before going
directly to work with them, I would go overseas for further education – degree
in human rights or conflict resolution or law. She ended up giving me a list of
schools in the Netherlands with programs in those areas and offer full scholarships
for international students from Africa. She opened my eyes – that was in 2007.
I saw a bright light at the end of the tunnel, to accomplish what I wanted so
bad since I was in grade school back in 1994/95.
One day while still doing my internship with UNHCR
– I went with another staff to the refugee camp, Rugufu. My colleague was from the protection unit while I was in external relations or you might say public
affairs. Our main objective on that trip was to document and interview refugees
who are returning back home to Burundi after many years of refugees. We wanted
to see what their hopes were by going back to their motherland. Some of their
properties were completely destroyed, so when they went back might not have any
documentation to own land or other properties they possessed before the civil
war. It was a mixed feeling to many of the refugees – excited to go home but some
scared of challenges and whether another might erupt. The best of this event of
repatriation was when villagers around the refugee-hosting communities came to
say goodbye. They lived together, they became friends, they played together,
went to the market together – it was like leaving another family.
At the moment we’re doing such activity, there
were like seven students from America. One of those students is Yusuf Gawany, who is a Tanzanian who worked with UNHCR before. He was also a student with the
rest of them, received a full scholarship. I really appreciate generosity of
Yusuf to help me understand his experience studying in America. He broke down
to my play by play and things looked simple. We had a conversation during
dinner and I came to know all of them by their names and which school were
from. They were all students from Joan B Kroc School of Peace (University of
San Diego) in California.
They were all impressed with my background and
interest in working with United Nations or peace in general. I explained to
them the educational background that I was still a college student studying
political science. But I mentioned to them that the overall plan is to have a master’s degree in human rights, conflict resolution, law, and things of that
nature. What a coincidence! They were all masters students from the University
of San Diego (also known as USD) – guess what they were studying. They were
studying master's in peace studies and conflict resolution. And they were at the
Rugufu refugee camp for data collection for their capstone research before they
graduate from their studies.
In that group of students: Yusuf is Tanzanian,
Marieta from Brazil, then there was Martha, Lee, Monya, Myea and Ben. They all
shared how wonderful the school and program were – I was so moved and got
inspired. I promised myself to work hard probably one day I would also study
the degree of my dream in the prestigious and most beautiful campus in America The University of San Diego. Yes, in case you didn’t know, USD has been voted and
ranked as the most beautiful campus #1 in three consecutive years. But also one among the best in the nation for the peace studies/conflict resolution
program.
Marieta was studying at USD with Rotary
Ambassadorial Scholarship along with a scholarship from the university. So she
helped me understand what is Rotary Ambassadorial and more importantly other
scholarships offered at USD. In the end, she gave me her business card and on it, she added information of the Associate Dean of School of Peace and Justice, Dr.
Lee Ann Otto. This was the summer of 2007. When I remember these moments feel like
it was just yesterday.
Three years later, in August 2010, Marieta and her
husband visited USD. During that visit, it was on August 23rd, if I may recall
I was presenting my final research – capstone. My capstone research was titled
Albino Killings in Tanzania: Witchcraft and Racism? She was so happy to meet me
once again after our first meeting in a refugee camp in Kigoma back in 2007. She
was so impressed with my progress, focusing on my dreams and walking through my
blueprint I. Interesting thing was – I showed her the business card she gave me
in 2007 – which she had information on Rotary Ambassadorial scholarship as well
as her handwritten information of the then Associate Dean Dr. Otto. It was a
perfect reunion, I remember.
After my internship with UNHCR, I went back to
school, the University of Dar es Salaam (UDSM) for my final year. I had a clear
vision of how I was going to achieve the degree program I wanted through
scholarships. I was highly motivated than ever before. I became kind of expert
on how to find information online for scholarships, avoiding scams and be
competitive. Everything changed – it was like a robot in an action movie being
recharged full force.
All of my talks with my friends and classmates
were clear that I would not continue with master's at UDSM. I would definitely
get scholarship – nothing to stop me. It reached a point some friends thought I
was out of my mind, lol.
Special Election in Kigoma in 1994
There was a re-introduction of multiparty politics
in Tanzania in 1992. This was after so many years of one-party politics from
1965. The general election was supposed to happen in 1995 where political
parties would enter into a campaign for members of parliament seats and
presidential elections.
Following the death of the member of parliament,
Rajabu Mbago from the ruling party, Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) in 1994, a
year before the general election, a special election was called. CCM brought Azim Premji as their candidate
while Chama Cha Demokrasia na Maendeleo (CHADEMA) brought Dr. Amani
Warid Kabourou, who came directly from the United States.
It was the best political campaign in Tanzania –
the first to define the real meaning of competitive politics. It was a dress
rehearsal for the real “battle” of the general election coming the year after.
CCM didn’t want to lose that election because the opposition would use it to
capitalize for the general election. CCM used “threatening” campaign that
choosing opposition would bring bloodshed like in Burundi and Rwanda civil wars
and genocide.
Even though it was just one seat in parliament,
CCM deployed all their heavyweight politicians including the President of the
country, Ally Hassan Mwinyi coming for that campaign. While opposition, CHADEMA
also brought heavyweights like Bob Makani, Edwin Mtei and others. It was a fascinating and most memorable moment to witness the first election of
multiparty politics in Tanzania.
When elections came out, Azim Premji of CCM won
the election. But Dr. Kabourou of CHADEMA went to the high court and open the
case. This was the historic case in the modern politics of Tanzania. This was defining
moment for many people of Kigoma and Tanzania. It was at this time when I knew
my career path.
It was first time to me and many people of Kigoma
to see the Judge of High Court. I still remember the name of the judge – he was
Judge Mchome from Tabora. He was heavily guided from his house and bodyguard
from Field Force Unit (FFU). Bob Makani, the prominent lawyer in Tanzania, attracted
the attention of everyone. There were speakers outside the court – almost the
whole Kigoma town was going to stay outside the courtroom to hear. I didn’t
understand much as you know I was just a fifth-grader at the time but just
inspired and moved by what they call themselves “learned brothers” at the court
of law.
When the ruling came out, the judgement was in
favor of Dr. Kabourou of CHADEMA. The judgement pointed out that, the election
was null and void. Among other reasons for such judgment was the interference of
the government into an election like President of the country to use government
resources to campaign for his party, CCM. That was totally against the
constitution. Also it came out Azim Premji was not a Tanzanian citizen. This is
because his parents are Indian and by their law no matter where you were born
you were still Indian. He was supposed to denounce Indian citizenship first to
run for a political position.
The judgement was the biggest victory for the
opposition – was like David vs Goliath. It was just 2 years of CHADEMA since
formed in 1992 but “destroyed” the ruling party, CCM. In the general election
of 1995 general election CHADEMA won the seat of Kigoma constituency. Dr.
Kabourou became the first opposition member in the parliament.
Such a series of events made me get fascinated with
legal profession. To see Judge Mchome in his red gown, Bob Makani on the other
dominating the court with skills like Lionel Messi or Christiano Ronaldo on the
football pitch. I saw myself as a lawyer in my future career.
At the same time, my brother Stanslaus (Rest In
Peace) was in his final year at the university. He was studying Bachelors of
Laws. He was on leave at the time Azim-Kabourou case was going on. We went
together with him to the court, and every evening after the court session, he
broke down to us. He explained to us what really happened and the trend of the
case.
Before he left to go back to finalize his law
degree, I asked my brother one important question. “What should I do in order
to be a lawyer?”, I asked. He responded with one of the shortest answers,
“study law”, he said. At that age, I didn’t capture how to go about studying
law to the university level because I could never jump from fifth grade at
Kigoma primary school to the University of Dar es Salaam. I’m glad he explained it to me in details. He introduced me to what we call combinations in high school.
That people who want to study law would need to take History, Geography and
English Language (HGL) combination. It stacked to my mind that HGL would be my
combination and would study law degree and become a prominent lawyer – just
like how I witnessed at the court of law Bob Makani showed his expertise.
When I finished grade school, I joined St.
Joseph’s seminary, also known as Ujiji Seminary. From day one of the pre-form
one, one thing was in my mind. All the time it was study law, and specialize in
HGL combination. Unfortunately, there are no combination choices at the junior level
(ordinary secondary school in Tanzania). You are required to study all the
subjects, about ten subjects if not mistaken.
I used to get straight A+ in all social sciences
subjects especially in History, Geography and English. The worst part was
failing science subjects like Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Mathematics. Most
teachers didn’t understand why I could get 95% on History but got 45% in
Chemistry. My mind was completely “blocked”. I only saw HGL ahead of me, and
assumed all other subjects were wastage of time. I was ready to study HGL then
Law like my brother.
I always remember my friend, Bernard Rugayi aka Jibaba.
He used to teach me and help me understand science subjects after school hours.
He was so good in science. It didn’t help much. But always appreciative of his
efforts and making me understand how it was important to pass all subjects even
if I had already decided what I wanted to study in the future. Then we got a
new teacher, Dickson. He was a completely different person. From the first day we
got clicked and just understood me and my point of view. He was very talented
teacher, making everything looked simple and easy. He broke down Chemistry and
Mathematics to even a person like me with interest would understand and have
interests in those subjects. You can’t believe what happened, I really started
to enjoy those subjects, got good grades. On the national examination for form
two in 1999 our class became the first one in the Western Zone. To the surprise
of many, I got A in Chemistry, with the highest score of 98%. You can’t succeed
in anything if you don’t do it seriously. But it makes easy for anything in our
careers to have an interest in it and enjoy what we are doing to perform well.
It’s a lesson I got after failing so many times.
With so many reasons, in 2000, I had to transfer
from Ujiji Seminary to Sangu Secondary in Mbeya. I was so excited to go to live
with my brother – Stanislaus. To live with Stanislaus was like the feeling when
you meet your hero – how do you feel to live in the same house with the legend?
I wanted so bad to be a lawyer, and now living with him, going to his office
every day, going to the court with him – was among the best moments spending
with him. I studied so hard and passed well to go for the only combination I
wanted HGL. I knew going for that combination was just a route to studying
Bachelors of Law.
Doctor
Dangwa in Kigoma
Around 1994/5, I came to know one medical doctor,
Dr. Dangwa. I don’t remember his first name. I don’t know which country he went
for his studies to study his medical studies – at that small age, what mattered
was he was a doctor. He had his small clinic at Mwanga area which is in Kigoma
urban.
When he returned to Kigoma from his studies, he
came with his family. His wife and kids. I don’t know nationality of his wife,
but at that moment we just assumed she was Caucasian – Mzungu as many
white people are referred to. The wife looked like of Asian background. We were
young and there was no much exposure like now for a child to distinguish.
It looked kind of cool whenever we saw Dr. Dangwa and
his family. It was strange on one point and another was good strange to have
multicultural family or interracial couple in particular. Most kids around had
different interpretation from them. I promised myself that, when I grow up, I
would definitely marry someone from another race.
For any person I studied within the primary school or
any level up to the university – they will tell you about my position. Down the
road, we heard that Dr. Dangwa and his wife were no longer together, they filed
for divorce.
At that moment I noticed one thing – it is very
difficult to marry someone from another culture especially from Western
countries and live together in my context of Tanzania. It is until you find a
woman from those backgrounds and willing to relocate to live in Tanzania.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of good examples as I know now.
One thing on my mind changed – so not only to
marry Caucasian woman from different cultural background, where to live was so
crucial. I didn’t want to divorce because of my spouse not being comfortable or
failure to adapt to life in Tanzania. So I made up my mind that, I would like to
live permanently in one of the Western countries – USA as my first choice,
obviously. I rearranged the order of my priorities – go to the University of
Dar es Salaam, get good GPA, find a scholarship to go to Western countries, get
good education there, marry someone, start a family and finally create your
legacy.
Fifteen years later, in 2010 I married my
beautiful wife, Marie. She happened to be Caucasian. At the time I met her, I
already completed most if the things on my priorities – only starting a family
was in front of me and becoming a homeowner in America. I am thankful to God –
now I am just working to create the final chapter of my life, creating a legacy
to my kids, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren whom I might not meet in my
lifetime.
What I’ve learned from this process is always to
stay on your lane. The world has so many distractions, especially on our social
media life. You might end up being caught by someone else’s dreams to think
they are yours. You might end up chasing things which don’t matter to you at
all or had never in your blueprint. It’s not a smooth ride from your childhood
dreams to your adulthood reality. I managed to stay composed in all my years
and now I can say I’m very successful and happy because I accomplished
everything I ever wanted in my life.
Now as a parent, I don’t take lightly my kids’
dreams. Just like my parents, they didn’t ambush me or tell me it was impossible,
I want to create a unique and inviting environment for my kids to reach their
childhood dreams. I know certain things will be changing when they grow, but
having a good foundation is a plus in so many ways. Without a good family
foundation, I wouldn’t be here and going to the direction I’m at the moment. Most
importantly to share with them these important milestones in my life so that
they can understand what it meant to me personally.
I ended up sharing these important decisions and
other things around my life with my kids. It’s no brainer that we’ll die one day.
Therefore, to prepare me for such a moment, I’ve to share and tell my kids
who later will share with their children and grandchildren in the form of
letters I’ve been writing. And these are some of those important letters:
My
dearest son, Benedikt Fulbright,
Benedikt, I believe you might be asking yourself some questions about
all these letters. Before answering your question, I would like to share one
important quote from Steve Jobs, “If today were the last day of my life, would
I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been
“No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. When I
think of you and Clare, life and death, I always think of the legacy I am going
to leave to you.
In 2011 I came across Randy Pausch’s
The Last Lecture series. He had a very rare and complex form of cancer. His
days were numbered. He had to sort all of his affairs, saying goodbye and teach
his kids everything a father should do to a child for many years. But he didn’t
have 18 years to live and teach his kids, rather just a few months. He decided to
have what he called “The Last Lecture”. I think he used the lecture format because
he was a university professor.
My son, if you look at Randy’s story, he
had the “opportunity” to know how many days left to his life. Many of us will never
know when our time has come, it’s a mystery. That’s why I agree with Steve Jobs
that, we should always live as today is the last day of our lives. We should
teach our kids everything we are supposed to teach them, guide them as if we
will not be here on planet Earth forever. So how did I start writing all these
letters in the first place?
It all started on your first birthday,
Benedikt. It was on February 10th, 2012. As a loving and committed
father, I was looking for the most perfect gift for my year-old-son. In
that search of the gift, I came to realize no matter how beautiful the gift is,
you will never remember it due to your age. It was at that moment I started
looking what important thing I can give which you will like and always
remember. Only one thing came to my mind: Write a letter to Benedikt.
When you
grow up, know how to read, I will re-gift you. I believed you will appreciate it more and probably keep it for your friends and kids.
Through these letters, as you can see
Benedikt, I address you as a person, not just a kid who doesn’t have sense.
Since I do not know the time when I will go to our Father in Heaven, I think it
is important to have something like “The Last Lectures”. I have written over
100 letters so far the period of 6 years of your life. Now, I am not only
writing these letters to you alone but also to your sister Clare, your mother,
Marie, I write to myself, to my brothers, sisters, mother, father and few
friends.
In case you didn’t know, I do not
like to purchase cards from the store. I believe someone appreciates more when
you write a not comes from your heart. When I am writing these letters, I get
time to reflect, think and appreciate even little things from someone I know.
It gives a deeper meaning of care, appreciation, love, and friendship.
Therefore, I would like for you to be making hand-made cards, drawings, and
anything from your heart rather than buying cards that are technically designed for
someone but just blank names.
I would like to share with you
something very important I have never told anyone. When I was in basic military
training (boot camp) in Great Lakes, IL back in the Fall of 2012, letter writing
was one the best thing to be with you in my mind all the time. I was having a mental picture of everything since you were born, when I hold you in my hands
for the first time and every little thing you would never imagine. All those
images in my mind, kept me going. I was able to overcome anything I came
across. I wrote so many letters by that time.
Benedikt, you might never know how much
you have helped to change and shape my life. Without knowing, you have helped me
to think of my life 30-50 years to come. As I wrote in your first birthday
letter, YOU ARE THE REASON, BENEDIKT. You will always be the reason, the game-changer. Thank you so much and I love you dearly.
Benedikt, before Clare was born, I was
planning to publish the book with the title, “The Benedikt Factor”. I have now
letters from your sister, Clare. I had to change the title to “A Loving Father”
to include both of you and many children around the world who might read these
letters and learn something, Or to any parent around the world to get something
from these letters. I love both of you very much, and your kids are
inspirational to my life.
One last thing, Benedikt, for me
studying hard and getting good results in school and so forth were very not
strange things at all. I grew up in a family of 13 children, and seeing
everyone doing great in school made my path very easy. This is what I am
creating for you. When you grow up, to see someone publishing a book or
bestseller will be a normal thing. You have a living example in the house, of
your father writing book(s). This will motivate you to write something even
more beautiful than mine. But another important lesson for you and Clare is to
understand that “each person is God’s Masterpiece creature, therefore, has
something unique to offer to others”. The story of your life will be a lesson
and inspiration to another person. Don’t take things for granted and assume you
are just a normal kid and everything is normal.
I love you so much, son.
It’s me,
Your loving Baba
Ernest Boniface Makulilo
WELCOME
TO THE WORLD PRINCESS
CLARE
FRANCISCA MAKULILO
My dearest little angel, Clare Francisca,
Friday the 6th of November 2015 at 0930 PST you made your
official debut on this planet. You are born at Simi Valley Hospital in the
great State of California. Your weight is 6lbs 14oz and height 19 inches. Your
due date was November 18 but you decided to show up like two weeks before, what
a surprise!
I know when you grow up you will ask me the question about your name.
Naming a child is the most important thing. Nature of the name can help the
child in his/her life. Marie and I named you Clare Francisca. It is one of the
most powerful names on Earth. How did we come up with such a meaningful name? It
all started with naming our first God’s blessing, Benedikt Fulbright. Your
brother was named after Pope Benedikt XVI. Our generation had the opportunity to
witness two popes in a very short period of time, Pope Benedikt XVI and Pope
Francis. So even before we knew the gender, Pope Francis was in our mind, and
Pope Francis is the first Pope with such a name as Saint Francis. What happened
after knowing your gender?
Your mother, Marie Anna was a Catholic sister and nun for about twelve years.
The first six years was the Franciscan sister and the rest changed the Order to
Poor Clares. The Poor Clares were the second Franciscan Order to be
established. The Order was founded by Saints Clare of Assisi and Francis of
Assisi. Prior to be the sister and nun, she attended Franciscan University of
Steubenville in Ohio. Her entire religious and personal life is surrounded by
Saints Francis and Clare. Both saints are part of our religious and family
life. Now you are Clare Francisca Makulilo, a sister to Benedikt Fulbright
Makulilo and daughter of Marie Anna Makulilo and Ernest Boniface Makulilo.
I am very much happy to have you in my life. You are so special. You are a special and precious gift from God. As your parent, I promise to love you
dearly and unconditionally. I will do my best to raise you to be an outstanding
human being and God’s daughter. On the other hand, I am a little bit sad. I am
sad because I am not in California at this special moment of your birth. I will
arrive in California on November 18 the day you were supposed to be born (your
due date). I have a feeling you be stubborn like many Makulilos as you have
proven yourself to show up two weeks before. I can’t wait to see you in person
and hold you in my hands.
I
know you are surprised where the hell I am. I am currently in Tanzania, East
Africa. This is where I was born and raised. This is the place that gave me a different perspective on life and commitment. I am here because I am finishing
some procedures to launch my company EBM Wholesale, LLC. You will learn about
it when you grow up, and if you are interested you and Benedikt will own the
company and take to the next level – beyond my imagination.
“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew
you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose. I appointed you
to be a prophet to the nations” [Jeremiah 1:5].
I told Benedikt the exact above words. You are a special person, talented
and gifted. God formed you with purpose. It will take time and thousands of
trials to master and perfect your God-given gift and talent. Between you and Benedikt, your mother had two
miscarriages. We named our little angels in heaven Mary Joseph and Malaika
respectively. They are always praying for us. We do pray for them too.
“There is no perfect family. We have no
perfect parents, we are not perfect, do not get married to a perfect person,
neither do we have perfect children…” [Pope Francis’ Message on Family].
My little Princess Clare Francisca, I am a human being. I am not a perfect
father, husband, and person. I will be wrong many times. I will upset and
disappoint you many times. As a responsible husband, father, and human being, I
will do my best to make things right. Whenever I am wrong, I will apologize and
do the right things next time. I will be there for you in all situations no matter
what. You are part of me. You are me.
One more thing, I usually go by the name Baba. And your mother goes by
Mama. We do not use daddy, father, mom, mommy, and so forth when you are
referring to or addressing us. Benedikt will guide you on that.
Nakupenda
Sana Clare Francisca Makulilo
It’s your loving Baba
Ernest Boniface Makulilo
November 06, 2015
To My Daughter, Clare Francisca
On International Women’s Day
My
dearest daughter, Clare Francisca,
In the past few weeks, we celebrated your brother’s birthday. I gave him
one message regarding respect for all women and mothers around the world. I
would like to quote some of that for you: “No matter what, respect all women
and mothers all over the world. They are our civilization. I had the
opportunity to experience every stage of your mother, Marie when she was
pregnant. From morning sickness to labor pains and childbirth. I was in the
labor room. What I saw and experience completely gave me a new perspective and
more respect for women and mothers. I looked back and thought of my mother who
went to the labor room and had 13 children. Women and mothers are the most
caring individuals on the planet. The love and care they give to newborns, no
sleeping at night, being with them all 24/7, and bringing up infants to
adulthood. Benedikt, never take for granted anything your mother is doing for
you. Never take for granted to have Clare as your sister. How you treat Sister,
Clare and your mother, Marie will be a replica of how you treat all women when
you grow up”
Clare, I always say, “I know I am not perfect. But the closest person to
perfection I have ever known in my life is my beloved mother”. Therefore, respect to my mother means respect to all women worldwide. The same applies to
you, Clare the way you treat your brother Benedikt and me as your father will
be a replica of how you will be treating all men around the world. Respect all
men and fathers like how men need to respect their sisters, mothers, and all
women everywhere.
One important thing you need to know, Clare is that, I had an
opportunity to be raised in a family of 7 girls and 6 boys. A long time even
before the so-called women empowerment, the Beijing thing started, and my parents
did women's rights by action. All children were treated equally. All children
have the same opportunities and resources. My parents gave us equal education. Boys
had to wash dishes, cook, gardening and so forth. There was no job description
for girls and boys, we were all children. Such a kind of childhood upbringing is
what is defining me today.
My princess, Clare, never in your life plays a victim role or plays a gender card. Always compete for everything on a merit basis. God has never created a
damn child whether a boy or girl. Never underestimate yourself, you are God’s
masterpiece.
Clare, you are born in a different era. The era of artificial, fake, and
materialistic life. The world where social media makes women objects instead of
human beings. This is the era where the look and appearance of women go beyond
humanity. Please don’t be trapped in that. You are so much better than that.
If you respect yourself, respect your body, understand who you are as a girl
and woman, you will be very much respected. The worst part is when you don’t
respect yourself, you will lose it all, and no one will ever give you any
respect.
One last thing, I wish the majority of people could understand one important
thing about women’s rights and empowerment. Many people “fight” the wrong war.
If you empower a boy, teach him to be a man to respect a girl and woman, we
will end up with a family without injustices against women.
Happy International Women’s Day, Clare
It’s me,
Your loving Baba
March 8, 2017
If I look back, I always see that little boy in the small town of Kigoma. I
see how many years of consistency and trusting God you need to put there to
reach your final destination. As it was for me, it took over fifteen years
of believing, working hard, and trusting God to be able to accomplish almost
everything I ever dreamed of as a child. But that would never be possible
without having such wonderful parents and siblings.
I totally agree with those who say life is a marathon, not a sprint.
What you need is to create your own things you want to accomplish at a certain
time, and don’t worry about other people’s dreams. They are not yours, stay on your
lane and do your own thing at your own pace, and in the end, you’ll reach your
destination on your own terms. If I were to sprint and get distracted by what
others, my friends, and people I know, with their dreams and speed, I would
definitely not reach mine. I would end up living someone else’s lifestyle. This
is why, Martin Luther King, Jr asked, “what is your life’s blueprint?”
And it is not a sin to change your childhood dreams. Things happen and
priorities change too. So never be so hard on yourself. On whatever, you, give
it 100% and God will never let you down or disappoint you in any way.
Ernest Boniface Makulilo
EBM SCHOLARS
Missouri, USA
www.youtube.com/ebmscholars (for
English Videos)
www.youtube.com/ebmswahili (for Swahili Videos)
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